it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
zippers are such a cool invention
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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