Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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