I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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