your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
