somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
