He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
