if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
worst night to have a conscience
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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