Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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