dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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