Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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