I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
