You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
