: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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