got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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