This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
