my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
