If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize