Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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