I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Enjoy the penises
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
