This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize