my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
