okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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