when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
