at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
