I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
