2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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