no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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