I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
