It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
