Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
