I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
