I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
