i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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