We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
