My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize