I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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