At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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