We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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