I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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