well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
