It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
