I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You left your phone here
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