There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
