i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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