we have pet lesbian snakes
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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