hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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