Dual....:-)
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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