she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Are my feet made of real feet?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
