So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
