it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
