Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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