I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Holy shit dude........stairs
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
