It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
