"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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