Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
