It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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