NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
