Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
